David Cameron returns to Prime Ministers question time after 11 weeks, asking questions of the opposition party’s leadership in an attempt to deflect attention from the leadership of his own. “I’ll ask the questions here!”… “Oh no you won’t!”… “Oh yes I will!”… “Oh no you…” U turns became S bends as the parties returned to plumbing the depth, while the Speaker of the House was absent due to the various libel cases being heard against his wife. Speaker Berkow recently applied to be a contestant on “Come dine with me” but didn’t make the cut because of appearing to be impartial, “not good for television ratings, let alone opinion polls!” explained political talent pundit David Walliams. (it later emerged that Come Dine producers had asked the Speaker for Mrs Berkow’s agent’s number instead).
The PM, having recently returned from trance dancing in the chill out rooms of Ibiza, and previously flying around the globe to chat with Lame Duck presidents and Russian Botox Tsars, has returned to office well coiffed and tanned, ready to join the Hunt for things to privatize in the NHS (“it’s all the fault of the previous Labour Government! Just look at the record… no! I mean DON’T look at the record!”) – while Mr. Cameron reveled in answering questions as if he were a Google executive at a tax avoidance committee hearing. Ed Miliband appears to have become a convert to Conservative dress sense, tailoring his taste in fashion to the coalition of a thousand cuts. Apart that is, from ideas like increasing the number of children legally held in the care of child carers – which according to Libservative leader Nick Clegg is a policy wonk too far for a nation that didn’t think they had voted for anything like him in the first place. No reversals and no return to the universal then for the party opposite in the case of child benefits – however they can see potential benefits being predicted by polling companies up and down the land (up to Gretna Green anyway, as the Tories are still trying to think of a way to privatize Scotland before it gets lost in a compulsory purchase order, while the Scottish Labour party continue to sink in a devoluted quagmire of their own making)
That’s it for PMQ’s for now, Politoons will be back with more questions than answers shortly, in the meantime,
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