MIDDLE EASTERN AGE CRISIS
In international news, the war in Syria has spread like a middle aged waistline around the Middle East, as revolution takes hold in Turkish parkland.
Online security forces across the globe meanwhile look to the entertainment industry to deflect attention from news reports suggesting that we are in the deepest doo doo since WWtwo-two– with some pundits arguing: ‘that one never properly finished anyway, nor did WW1-1-8 for that matter!’ Meanwhile Brad Pitt stars in the brand new 3D www3, on release online and in all especially spectacled cinemas now.
SPIES ‘N SECRET DATA STUFF
Billy Hague the harangued whistle-blower denier and British Foreign Secretary, suffered another setback to his hopes of resurrecting a lapsed career as leader of the official opposition. Denying that spying exists in Britain or anywhere else where Britain is deemed to exist, he was adamant that US agencies HAVE NOT got access to any ‘data’ that we haven’t got access to either.
“It is simply wrong for people to assume that our Secret Services have any intelligence at all!” he shouted, at the policeman who refused to let him through the Downing Street gate. “Our spies are baseless, and these claims are blameless!” He replied to comments on twitter, before saying that he actually meant to say that the other way round. The CIA – who DO NOT HAVE access to UK communication systems – were quick to point out Mr. Hague’s blunder before it came up on his twit feeder.
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