PAY DAY LOANS MAKE HAY DAY!
Shares in payday loan companies rose even higher than the APR interest rates those companies charge today, as government plans to make poor people pay for more things with less money has promoted spikey growths amongst wealthy stock market lobbyists.
BUBBLE TROUBLE FOR HOUSING MUDDLE
Higher than expected house price bubbles filled with hot air and rose further today, while it was announced that shale gas explorations will take place in low density areas of the country, such as under Blackpool’s famous tower, the new Olympic park, and London’s Tate Modern (the latter being a second home for the spin of energy profiteering gas and oil conglomerates for several fairytale years now).
The cohabitation of liberals and conservatives continues in the Council Houses of Parliament, while backbench MP’s insist on lobbying for better tax breaks for married couples. Nick’s best man Dan said he was con-Vince-d that Dave could make an honest man of him. The recently reformed Laws mean this could be a marriage made in political heaven – the name of an outlying suburb in the country’s political capital, known to many as “Greater Bollocks”.
THE FUTURE IS SUNNY FOR FUNNY MONEY
Putting money directly into the pockets of people who actually spend it rather than giving it to those who bury it in the middle of their offshore islands and look all innocent when someone stops by, is a policy dilemma that has befuddled many confused polticians for several years. Consequently, while no decisions get made, the future is spiraling down the plughole, while the government promotes British Industry, issuing tea towels printed with the words “keep calm, and carry on”.
That’s all your politoons news this week
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all text and images © M. Dunlop 2013