The government is to go ahead with the further privatization of public services in the coming years, utilizing a ‘my turn on top approach’, much favoured by many privates already penetrating public bodies.
Initially the infrastructure for these privatizing programs will be expensive to initiate, and tax payers should not expect to see any reduction in their tax bills within their lifetimes let alone within the lifetime of the next parliament. In future, the ordinary voter should not notice any change in overall savings to the nation, because the money saved will be given back in tax breaks to the private companies that sponsor your member of parliament. This is intended to compensate the multinational corporations currently lobbying the British Government for the loss of brand reputation expected from their being associated with ‘money for questions’ politicians.
The government hopes to extend the scheme across parliament after the next election, with the intention that tax payers will no longer pay politician’s salaries or expenses, meaning only certain politicians who can attract private investment will be eligible to vote in the houses of ‘not-so-common’ anymore.
A spokesperson for the queen – who is already part-privatized – said that her majesty is considering branding her Christmas speech to the nation this year. As she spoke to the media in front of backdrops covered in company logos, the queen said through her interpreter that she had come up with the idea after watching sports programs on television, especially those post match interviews where coaches and players are asked mundane questions in order to give air time to the brands who are paying top dollar for the advertising space in the background.
In other private government news, an ideological split between the generations has been exploited by newspapers desperate to justify their print operations to shareholders. Taking a swipe at politicians who oppose private sponsorship of the nanny state, headlines have suggested that some ancestors of unbranded politicians had very different ideas about how the country should be run compared to some newspapers desperate to turn a profit, and panicking about their shrinking list of print based corporate advertisers.
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(all text and images © M. Dunlop 2013)
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