Madiba – a poetic requiem on the passing of Nelson Mandela
(cartoon caption contest winners to be announced tomorrow!)
Pre-Christmas sales lead us to believe Food books are outselling religious fiction in biblical proportions!
Black Friday pundits say that while this use of the word “black” may convey a negative stereotype, more crap was snapped up in consumer feeding frenzies this past post thanksgiving Friday, than ever before in the recorded history of Fridays!
After a long weekend of any leftovers being put back in the fridge, turkeys received some light relief as Americans put a temporary hold on annual poultry sacrifices – an age old tradition intended by America’s absent founding fathers to express their gratitude for the existence of unnaturally large breasts in their homeland.
Meanwhile UK shops convinced consumers that Xmas was coming early this year, with the “no milk thankyou” Friday concept being imported from the US as part of ongoing negotiations linking free trade with consumer manipulation. Walltart told the media outlets who they advertise with to leak adver-mation stories about the positive benefits of shopping during “on it’s own please” Friday, and going even further into debt earlier this year than usual.
This came after news of the British PM’s recent successful trade mission to China, where they greeted him with folded armed guards, and impatient foot tapping, asking him where the 45 million pounds worth of pig semen was, and why had he brought all his friends on a jolly with him instead?
England’s national millionaire-only football team have been lucky enough to find themselves drawn in the “group of death” at next years world cup contest. Far from being a throat cutting exercise by Greg -what do you mean use my finger?- Dyke, the new chairman of the sweet F.A. English sport consumers are expected to save thousands of pounds more than their European counterparts because they may well to be traveling home from Brazil much earlier. Leaving them with more time over the summer to spend with the kids, and complain about how the Scottish people up north don’t want to live with them anymore.
Drones deliver goods for online retailers in world wide ‘hood!
Amazon and Google branched out into further automation than anyone wants or believes possible with the suggestion that in the future they will use drones to deliver such things as Google Glasses, and food groceries, as the idea of being book merchants and search engines finally gets left behind in their ‘do no evil’ quest for world domination. Armed with driver-less vehicles, and being the go-to source for most of the information that governments collect about their citizens, the two interweb giants are fighting it out on their face pages, tweeting each other with flames, and sending armies of trolls out against each other that even J.R.R Tolkien* could only ever dream about.
(*author of Lord of the Rings, not Flies)
Well, that’s all the food we can afford to throw into the Politoon piranah pond this week, if you feel like dipping a toe in yourself do get in touch, (otherwise we recommend swaddling your foot in chain mail first).
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(all text and images © M. Dunlop 2013)