Selfies Cannot Bring back the Dead, world leaders find!
Politoons has learned that British and US Leaders joined their Danish Counterpart in filming of a new series of BORGEN, the world record breaking Scandi-TV show at Nelson Mandela’s Memorial service. As the former Mr. Mandela is/was considered one of the greatest world leaders of all time, scriptwriters for the show decided to film on location in Africa during the dead man’s full state send-off this week. At the same time, plane loads of lesser world leaders were burning their way through the fragile Ozone layer in order to get there in time and take their own high powered selfies at the Funeral too.
As grief is something that world leaders regularly train themselves to be good at, the funeral of Nelson Mandela was an orgy of eulogization for the 60,000 South Africans who turned up to the stadium. As the sky opened and storm clouds rained down like metaphoric showers of tears, ordinary South Africans were forced to sit through hours of gushy sentiments from foreign politicians who overcome jet lag by standing in front of thousands of people and getting a powerful adrenal rush. Their only consolation was being able to boo and heckle their own Leader when he came to the stage and pretended to be a Deaf Language interpreter.
Mourning Artists also grieve over effect of Madiba death on media coverage and ratings!
Meanwhile, strangely sun-glassed media hate figures like Boner the Irish Rock star, photo-bombed anyone seen to be holding a phone at an awkward angle to their body and smiling at it. Other artists who couldn’t make it included Miley Cyrus, because her tongue has been super glued to the bottom of her chin ever since she simulated sex while being fully clothed, and was then declared MTV’s Artist of the year. The tongue faced starlet and her agents had to content themselves with the thought that swathes of teenage boys were ‘twerking the be-jesus’ out of their throbbing wrecking balls while remaining loyal fans.
Palin Patents Pal-oogle eyewear for Xmas!
For an older generation of adolescent middle aged metrosexual men, pining for the arousal initiated by the power suited visage of Margaret Thatcher, (also offered a state funeral by the Selfie obsessed British Leader mentioned above) there is a new XXXmas rated sex symbol in the shape of the former leader of Alaska, Sarah “I can see Russia from here!” Palin. Palin (no relation to Monty Python’s Michael Palin) has written an autobiography about the part she played in the original Christmas story. Historic evidence suggests this took place sometime before Christians had even been invented! Ms. Palin couldn’t attend the Mandela memorial either, because she was too busy trialing the prototype Googling Glass Headset. It incorporates a Pal-oogle app where users can download and relive Sarah’s once in a lifetime Vice presidential campaign. The softhead ware also includes data from a server farm where users can see for themselves how the Palin’s family have evolved from an era of near sainthood into one of notoriety as figureheads of the patriotically intolerant Boston Tea Party.
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