Politoons presents the Seasonally Adjusted Issues Issue
News flash: obit for Leon Kuhn, cartoonist Here
Kim Dun Sushi, the young leader of Free North Korea has had his favourite Uncle put down, as he was very old and could no longer retrieve the young leader’s balls.
Having suspected his uncle of undermining him for some time – a half dug tunnel was discovered beneath the People’s Palace, and a large shovel was spotted entering his Aunt’s bedroom – Kim Iztu Young was forced to act before he could finalize his Christmas list, or buy any presents.
The young dictator was reported as saying “Not getting something for my Uncle should keep the economy from falling off a cliff until the new year!” He then went on to warn his wayward brother Kim Not Him, about coming home for Christmas, threatening to accuse him of something innocuous like being seen in a photograph near a glass of whiskey, or of feeding the palace cat dry kibble food instead of Mackerel and Seasoned Caper Kitty Lumps straight from the tin. Animal lovers around the world agreed that putting the mad uncle out of his misery was the only answer for the troubled young autocrat, and supported the editing of his Cat hating relations from North Korea’s all too short history, forever.
Worried that things were going from bad to worse in the world, the youngest great leader urged his country to create freezing temperatures in imitation of winter, as a way of preparing for the Heter-O-lympics in neighbouring Russia (land-of-the-recently-freed-Oligarchs).
Bulgarians and Romanians have decided not to come to Britain until weather conditions improve, as a low pressure zone has hit the country in preparation for Xmas. UKIP MEP’s have generally sounded positive notes (F#’s and B flats mostly) about the chances of their Lord and Creator Nigel the Great of Basildon becoming the spiritual leader of a non-european Pound Shop trading hub. Exports to and from the hub will be delivered in person by British nationals who might otherwise emigrate to Abu Dabi for the chance to work for peanuts on the building of lego bricked imitations of great world cultural attractions. These include helter skelter rides in the shape of Winston Churchill designed by Zhahaha Hadeetz, and Olympic size swimming poolsfilled with alternating layers of oil and desalinated water from Normal Fosterers Architectural Practice-till-we-get-it-right Partnership located in a B and Q shed somewhere near Neasdon.
Importers of Health Services into the UK received a welcome boost when news of restrictions on access for Aliens from places outside London meant that they could build emergency medical facilities anywhere along the M25 corridor. Teams of doctors from Manchester have been sent to Syria to trial the phasing in of such ‘out the back of an ambulance’ services, to coincide with government calls for health services to be more specifically targeted at the most healthy in society, thus reducing the number of people in statistical need of the NHS PLC.
And finally, here’s some of the finalists for our 2nd Politoons Cartoon Caption contest, the winner will be announced in the new year!
Merry don’t take it too seriously to one and all.