Having successfully cornered the market in online corner markets, Jeb “Bdeep-Bdeep-Bdeep” Gazebo, MDMA of Amazon.con has revealed secret talks with the CIA which will take the online retailer to the next level in the hit video game “Spy for your country”.
Amazin – the online website behemoth rivaling Googoo for being visible from virtual space – are recruiting a new team of air heads to administer ECG shock treatment to first time users still expecting something for free without first having to hand over all their government’s personal data.
Holier than though victims of the Obama-nated war on terror in the eyes of the beholder have taken the tragedy of 7-11 and the rise of 24hour news coverage as a sign that there is no smoking without fire in the sprinkler systems of power. Using trickle down technology that has kept pace with the flight of capital from people’s pockets, military sources say privatization of their industry will keep water in people’s taps, and tree shaped air-fresheners in citizens cars for all eternity – unless world temperatures rise by 2 degrees Celsius.
A Lego Man -whose starring role in the new hit film “Brick by Brick 2” now haunts the imagination of many children across the world – was quoted as saying “ I’m no Brad Pitt, but I can attach myself to lots of different bit parts, and stand emotionless in front of cameras for quite some time before needing someone to change the position of my arms or legs”.
Air strikes over flood plane areas continued to ridicule people who live in flood plains, and the environmental experts who are blamed for too much rain by people who claim “I’m no expert, but…” have not been given access to social media to repudiate the un-experts claims. Even government ministers have backtracked through the rising tides of sewage clogging up the toilets in the British houses of parliament, and blamed the latest natural disasters on Yes voters in the forthcoming Scottish Referendum f Doom.
The west looked on as Russian demagogs slid down ski slopes made of gay people and handed medals out to others who hid their personal opinions behind a shroud of athleticism and pride in their nation’s desperate desire for media coverage. In a disputed place with disreputable conditions, impartial national observers were encouraged to cheer on their team members while human rights were flaunted to a degree previously not imagined in the 21st century.
Party Line Services reintroduced for National Newspapers in UK!
With several media celebrities being charged with listening in on the conversations of others, national telecoms giant B(U)T has announce the reintroduction of shared communication provision which will make sharing privacy much simpler for regularly ripped off customers.
tune in for our next Cartoon Caption contest coming next week! congratulations again to Tim from Illinois for his winning by-line below!
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