The discovery of Methane Spikes (or ‘burps’, as they are known in the Colostonic sciences) has sent the Mars Rover into a tail spin over exhaustive gas analysis of what may be billion year old cow pats from a bygone Martian age of pastoral bliss. When the Sun was much younger, and could only dream of being a reactionary red topped newspaper with nude photography hidden amongst the news items, Mars may have been inhabited by a race of Cattle similar to the species that is milked for everything it is worth today.
The discovery of bullshit on Mars has confirmed the existence of life for many unwell known scientists. Which puts the landing of a washing machine on a comet billions of miles away in the shade (an unfortunate side effect, as the comet washer needs sunlight in fact to power it’s media spin cycle.)
Pope Steals Queen’s Speech Thunder!
The Pope has spoken about being unhappy with God’s council for the first time since his Road to Damascus moment. Because Syria is so hard to get to now, what with the oppressive regime fighting the oppressive neighbours over who is the best oppressor, the Pontiff has tweeted his irk-dom at Vatican administrators lower down the food chain. The white robed representative of several people’s deity on earth has been quoted as saying “There’s gonna be some changes around here!” and “This is business, you understand?” in his 140 characters or less Xmas message to the papists of the world.
Korean Kim Hacked Off with US Quality Control!
Having hacked into the American sit com “A day in the life at the White House”, North Korean film critics now find their off the wall comments are no longer online. Having trashed the film of their dear leader’s assassination, they now wait in a queue to use a hot desk inside Kim’s bedroom, where the initial cyber-wood attack is suspected to have taken place. The American President, roused from his 2nd term stupor, relayed his thoughts on the film, saying he was charmed by the buddy movie approach to improving relations with Pnom Penn. The Pres was considered to be on script, when he said that seeing people killed in Hollywood is all part of growing up and watching bootleg copies of American films. He then spoke directly to his North Korean peer, saying “Look Kim, Presidents often die in American films – we call them documentaries – BaBoom!;)”
Meanwhile Sony has lapped up all the free publicity and is planning on releasing the hacked film anyway. The corporation is apparently ready to use American Military support if necessary to protect it’s right to collect royalties and make profits anywhere on the planet. (The British Chancellor, GO is rumoured to have been seen taking notes in the garden shed next door)
That’s it for this weeks headliner news, don’t forget, there’s still Free Seasonal E-cards!
-a growing collection for your delectation-
There’s still copies of The Enigma Deviations to procure!
There’s still a Cartoon Caption Contest to enter!
There’s always next year!
Tune in, Drop by, and we’ll be sure to keep you posted.
Happy Nappies, from Politoons