Age of Dissent lowered amongst Consenting Adults
As birthday parties have taken a pummelling over the last week due to parental guidance systems targeting absent youngster’s elders, the government has decided to lower the Age of Dissent to comply with the new Constitutional framework being discussed in Holy Rude – the Scottish seat of lavatorial power. Nichola Farage, leader of the Scottish Independence from Scotland party has fueled speculation that the legal age of protest – currently set at the European average of nineteen and a half years – should be lowered to eighteen, meaning millions more
youngsters won’t need their parents permission to complain about everything.
Johnathan Porridge, leader of the “Let’s save the world by taking money from the people who are wrecking it” NGO has backed plans for the Davos WRF forum – World’s Richest Fockers – to publish an edict on who is allowed to protest against what they will do anyway.
President-about-to-retire Barrack Obladama of the United States of Multinationals has sent a previously vice presidential person to complain to the rich people about what rich people have and haven’t done recently. Ex Vice person Al Bore wore an expensive suit and dragged along a rich creative person to show that the potential for Dissent among the young* (*defined in Davos literature as “future old people”) is higher than for any previous generation – as is the debt being handed down to them.
Falling oil price forces non profit environmentalists to seek non profits elsewhere!
Jonathon Porridge of the unsustainable future forum (UFF!) says the idea of conventional energy firms transitioning into alternative energy firms is pure grammatical fantasy, and that his years of executive pay at the helm of a lobby group that never got beyond the foyer were coming to an end. Porridge poured cold water on the idea that the oil industry might save the earth from human induced destruction saying that: “for-profit companies no longer take non-profit into consideration when deciding on the future of our planet.”