Poli-flash news ending week of February 6th 2015

America and Russians agree with Chinese on Syrian Conflictees!

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After many meetings negotiating how to get out of doing what they said they were going to do, John Hairy, secretary of state for stuff that America doesn’t care about announced that US authorities may be willing to see President Assad remain in power after all. White House insiders said that the American President, having spent the last 3 years suggesting the Syrian regime needed changing, and leaving thousands of rebels in the lurch after years of not supporting them was now backing away from the red line his administration had drawn over the affair. Oblama has recently sent his emmisaries to Moscow to negotiate a done deal with the Russian emirates, who always said US plans for the region were dumb-ass or ‘kaputnitski’ from the get go.20131123-102012.jpg

“At least someone has a plan now!” said a relieved American ambassador to Luxemburg who has no intention of leaving his kushti little number for the ISIS-IAN hot bed of a thousand and one Arabian Fights.
Libya meanwhile has erected a statue of Tony Blair shaking hands with Colonel Gadfly (ex) in a Tripoli theme park. Tripoli’s troubled mayor hopes to encourage tourism into the capital, and this week opened a “Migration Museum” with hands on displays, and Migration Imitation workshops aimed at nut-case survivalist tourism organizations interested in finding out how hard it is to get across the Mediterranean in a leaky boat, let alone into fortress Europe. Middle Age envoy Blair is expected to officially unveil the sculpture once he has eluded calls for him to answer perjury charges relating to what many British Militants fondly remember as ‘Tony’s War’.

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Flight MH 370 has accidentally disappeared officially!

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Confirming that no one is going to explain what really happened, especially to those that think the plane was shot down mid air, Malaysian investigators intend sweeping everything under the carpet on the sea floor, and handing out compensation dosh in the hope that everyone is so exhausted by the ordeal, they won’t notice that Diego Garcian officialers have quietly spread the hush money around, waiting for everyone to give up on the whole thing.

Nasty people in Nasty places more likely to vote for Nasty parties!

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The Nasty party of Groot Brittania today announced it’s pre-election findings carried out by a made up group of nameless pen pushers. In response to the idea that over 6 million people were exterminated seventy years ago by a group with a similar name, the Nasties have hired half of Saatchi and Saatchi ( now known as ‘Saatchi And…’) to reinvent the wheel and themselves in time for the non-Euro British elections. The Nasties new election slogan also doubles as their election pledge, when in power the Nasties promise to: “Keep Calm, and stay Nasty!”

 

More February Supplements over the coming days, so tune in, follow, feed, and generally spread the jam … I mean word!

Meanwhile, here’s the regular features:

the 7th Politoon Caption Contest (closing at the end of this week!)

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The Enigma Deviations – the second volume of MacD cartoons with over 120 selections is out now

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