Boycotting the Oscars was this years must not do event of the year as red carpets were worn bare by fashion hogging day care celebs. Treating itself as an institution that needs institutionalizing, the Oscars represents the best laundry powder since colour was invented. Making sure that all trophies were in the pink this year, the crowning glory of all things hype-ish got more advertising space than ever before for the new monied aristocracy of camera loving face paint and anti-aging cream. British winners fawned in unexpected ways that endeared them to their merry-can hosts, ensuring once again that fairy dust and silverware will continue to weigh heavily on British mantlepieces even when sporty ones do not.
“It’s easy to ridicule things if you don’t take them seriously” said an inside insider.
“Ed Millibland for example. Katie Price is another, and what about what that Steven Hawkwind bloke said when he won the Oscars? “Weeah-snort-squidge umphapumph oooh errr!” Very emotional, but get a bleedin’ grip, I say! What is the world coming to when acceptance speeches are reduced to nothing more than sniveling drivel…oh…I see… no change there then!
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