LATEST BREAKING NEWS AND VIEWS!
End of the world offers huge opportunity for growth says stock market analyst!
George’s Budget Hairline’s creates treats for non-dom tax cheats!
UK-UK! Specialist Headline Brain Fade Blanks:
UKIP leaders plane wreck cast aside as NHS jibe lands broadside on Nigel’s failed state in afterlife!
Nigel concedes race rift as Poll slip concerns party whips!
UKIP EU expenses expatriated in restaurant receipt slated to Brussels!
Victoria in Peckham stood up to the bean counters at fashionista firmware makers D and G today. Holding a candle in the wind for the Lion King Rocket Man pianissimo, Ms. Becks took issue with the anti-guy agenda of the post style alphabetic logo manufacturers. “Family is what it’s all about, and everyone should have one, or two even if they need to use the spare bedroom because of poverty -which my husband and I abhor by the way, unless of course it comes in a little black number with Jimmie Wong stillettos…”
Foreign Ministers met outside the new European Bank building today dressed in Clown costumes to evade protesting citizens who are demanding their money back. Having bailed out the banks, the E-Union does not want to bail any thing else if it can help it, even if it means dissolution and running the continent in coalition with Scottish National Party goers.
Police cars continued to inflame the issue overnight as people masquerading as different other people confronted uniformed charade-ists intent on miming their way out of recession at all costs.
Jeremy very nearly fears he’s lost Top Gear!
Having gone from style icon to national treasure of the unwashed and sole British export that says rude things about foreign cars, Jeremy-Clark-Bosun was traced to the Large Haydron Service Provider in Switzerland where he battled it out with other theoretical particles in a magnetized tunnel that replicates bumper cars for protons. Having smashed the record for smashing things, Jeremy’s car crash of a career continues to careen onto screens around the speed addicted world, where millions have been lost in the cancellation of two episodes of the Three Turds on Wheels show that critics say has existed long past it’s half-lifetime.
Twitter to market all the stupid things you tell people in the hope of seeming interesting.
In order to create profit out of ordinariness Big Daddy data is capitalizing on the unexpected compel-ment users have to tell everyone about their instant life. Twit exec’s tweet to their followers that there is no such thing as a secret as far as they’re concerned, and they should now squeeze as much money as they can from you telling everyone about what your last fart smelt like, or wasting your existence away hashtagging pictures of cats licking themselves in domestic situations.
Large Haydron Service Provider picks Net Flix for grey matter’s Auntie-matter matrix!
Cam’s Flim Flam over Debate Plans leaves Opposition in No-Man’s Land!
Chinese Bankers thank British “W”_anker’s typo no-no for Promoting Asia Bank’s Financial Loop Hole!
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