POlitOons The First Issue-Elect of 2017

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Continental Driftz A new experimental poetry podcast on the theme of Europe featuring MacD MCMC Spoken, Will Salter, and Drewzy and the Robot. mac-dunlop-photo
Check out more audio satire at politoon’s own podcasting portal

Now you may begin…

News Flash! Official Reprieve From Barrack the Merciful:

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Chelsey Manning,  granddaughter of long buried stand up guy Bernard, was once a Premier League football team before becoming the beneficiary of Pre-Trump President B.Omb-ama’s merciful beneficence. With a reprieve set to mark the anniversary of the release of ‘Please Release Me’ by the previously unreleased Gang of Four, Bernard Manning’s granddaughter will no longer live in isolation from the rest of the world for the crime of wanting to share.

 

Brexperts prepare for Crash Test Dummy survival outside Europe!
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Teresay May or may not have decided on what Brexit means, but this week has told the world what she can about the ‘Brrrr’ in Brrrexit. Using notes scribbled hastily on the scalps of her Three Brexiteers (One’s for Out and Out’s for One!) Tee’s Maid-en speech embarked into the unknown without fear, prejudice or knowledge to hinder her negotiating team’s rodeo ride into the unregulated world economy. Boris ‘I-coulda-bin-a-contender’ Johannson, explorer of vast quantities of empty space in search of power, has paid off civil servants whose advice he considers to be below common EU standards. His ministerialship has sent them packing and into retirement secured with hush money clauses and no guaranteed right of entry back into anything except a soon to be cancelled local bus service if they show their senior (nonEU) citizen’s card.

Artistic innovative collaboration seen as dramatic re-invention of contemporary Archeological sites!

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Dateline Alleppo: The east of the city has been metaphorically reunited with it’s Abyssyrian ancestral burial grounds thanks to the new sculptural installation work of phycho-demented co-blabative artists Assid and Pubeskin. The collaborating state artists have created a mock up of the early millenial carpet bombed city of Grozny from the distant past of the early naughties, and transferred an exact replica to this modern Syrian city.

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“It’s uncannily life-like” says the new curator of the Tate Modern another average person helpless to affect change anywhere except perhaps in the donation bins located by the Gallery’s front entrance, there to remind visitors that accessibility to cultural events that enrich our lives is not where your tax money is being spent.

 

Merch!

Help us to keep our feet on the ground and our heads above water by joining in with capitalism gone mad!

Politoons T-shirts, cups, tea towels, cards  and other fascinatingly prescient merchandise is available from Politoons.co.uk, send us a comment or email ‘info at politoons.co.uk’ and we’ll send you the vital statistics – ed.
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