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There will be a pOlitOOns year end review, don’t get me wrong, I’m still as jaded cynical and pessimistic as ever! But just before we go there, I’m passing on the word about some of the International political cartoonists who came up against it this year, brutally murdered, imprisoned, threatened, facing decades in jail or just being censored everyday. The artists who don’t necessarily make it on the front pages. Some – even most – of them you may not have heard of but if you want to find out more please visit the Cartoonists Rights website
Cartoonist Jiang Yefei ‘repatriated’ to China
On a different note Arthur Matthews, one of the co writer of ‘Father Ted’ wrote in the Index of Censorship’s Issue “Charlie Hebdo: The Global View”. He talked about drawing cartoons for the New Musical Express in the early 1990’s: “The idea was to amuse the reader, not antagonize the object of the cartoon”.
POlitoons view is similar, caricature is about humour not antagonism. If anyhing political cartoong is often recyclable because the political world is a very repetitive place- we seldom learn from mistakes, and consequently most political cartoons don’t come with expiry dates.
It’s worth remembering that there is a serious side. Freedom of Expression takes a battering everywhere, freedoms and human rights are only real if humans can exercise them in the first place. 
Lots of things like laws snd rights look good on paper – just like cartoons for that matter!
Forms of censorship don’t just happen at the state level either. There is the undercurrent of trolling on the internet, for instance, there are many places and cultures where the law says one thing in words but not necessarily on the street. There is much un-coded reality to pick at. In p the end tyranny loves a good silence, it sees it as a step on the road to success.
Not everything is funny, but for a satirist that in itself is a funny thing indeed!
here’s a previously published poem about the Syrian cartoonist, Ali Fezat
Ali Fezat
The wire-men broke his hands
and in the years before he drew again,
his healed bones imagined once invisible
guns and time in sections
behind the captor’s masks
discarded on the road to Damascus
Along the humming wire
justified text and censored illuminations
hid those men reflecting everyday on screens
angled light and shade contrasting the far away hours
The rolling pen moves on and smoothly traces
the sweetness of drying ink and drier tears
hardening hands to their task like tempered steel
the itch, the scratch, the page, the unbroken art
macd
and 
ho ho ho!
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Hex Factor judge Simon Callow stood before a crowd of actors in the fly on the wall documentary of his reality television soap opera and watched them drop their wireless microphones in unison last night. The latest person to sound like all the other persons that have the hex factor nearly cried again ( subject to contract) when famous Judge person Mr. Simon said she reminded him of someone who previously had reminded him of someone before. The final finalist hid her eyes as she tried to think of the worst thing that had ever happened in a failed attempt to cry to camera. Failing that, she went on to wonder who they heck he meant? And no, it wasn’t the Susan woman famous for singing old music hall favorites who combines a unique shortness of breath with a similar stature.
enjoy your politoon moment until the next time.
x factor (ed) Continue reading
No Trump is Madness!
A satirist think tank claimed that denying Donald J. Trump media space was robbing the humor industry of one of it’s main sources of income. “Satirical commentary is lost without the concept of someone like Trump at it’s heart.” said a confused funny person with deadlines to meet and too many surreal cynical things to come up with. Experts suggest that overexposure and the pressure to be seen to be doing something different from everyone else is forcing editors to insist that their satire departments – mostly interns doing work experience – avoid writing about Trump because he is already a walking lampoon. There is also growing concern that old fashioned newspaper print firms are running out of orange hair dye ink.
“Trump is a towering figure in the world of caricature, and cynical writers of American Politics should play to their strengths”, said a British Chancellor of the Exchequer before insisting this reporter add the cliche: “Britain is fixing the roof while the sun is shining!” The said Chancellor of the Exchequer -who is expected to become Britain’s first Chancellor of the Excontactless card for a trial period sometime in the new year – is rumoured to have told aides that being the butt of nose-butt jokes had troubled his dark soul for some time, however the load of caricature seems to have eased considerably since the Trump phenomenon stepped down from reality television and into people’s daily lives. Donaldo’s window of opportunity to go quietly before being pushed is now widely expected to be delayed until sometime after the American Residential Defections next year.
Pensioners are being encouraged to dip into their honey pots to sweeten life in old age, when they might need a spare room of their own. “Preparing for the future is the best way of securing the now!” said a bright spark sales rep at the “Beds In Old Folks Homes” (BIOF Homes) time share convention taking place near Flipside Majority, somewhere on the Tory Margins of Cameroon Keynes. Spokespersons say that investors can start small with a buy-to-let bed pan scheme and expect an immediate return on their excretion. Stock markets have risen in expectation of huge pensioner funds dumping their investments into the UK’s ageing Care Less Homes sector.
“Worrying people about the death of the NHS before their own demise has brought untold billions in questionable investments!” said a person counting the money at the BIOF Homes Conference ‘Hello’ badge collection point.
One automated ad campaigner who cold called me this morning, saying they had been trying to contact me regarding a recent injury claim made the case for the BIOF of Care Homes:”Profit from others now, and secure your own ailing self-care plan against the threat of future bed blockers already putting pressure on the underfunded Nonsense of Health Service and other crumbling social care facilities! To find out more press the star button now.”
Reminded that the adult craze for their own coloring-in books is on the wane since no one showed up to shop on Black Friday, overweight consumers are turning to the expanding online market in things that take your mind off things – previously considered the preserve of 8 year olds and under. Marketing expert Lotti Boulshitze of the ‘What the dot dot dot” institute for consumer awareness says “this years craze for ‘the child inside’ gifts is popular because everyone wants to get back to a time when they weren’t necessarily responsible for making the world a better place, or for cleaning their own room”.
Seasonal spikes in calendar related consumer spending events such as Coca Cola’s sponsored “Christmas time” are considered to be the perfect moment for mature people to express their inner child’s desire to return to simpler times. “Christmas reminds us that there were times in history when things were as easy as: “Star, manger, immaculate conception – hey presto, Jo’s your uncle!”
MZ and partner undertook their accountwat’s advice and set up an offshore hedge fund in their daughter’s name, making it look like they were giving away all their money instead of paying taxes. Many people realised later that their privacy settings had been changed, and found the loving “Rich beyond our Wildest Dreams!” couple staring back at them from a 3 hour U tube video explaining their tax avoidance plans to an unwanted and uncaring public.
Analysts poured over the figures of a recent released Pirrelli calendar and found that some of the glossy photos indicate a model of corporate fraud that even professional photographers don’t understand. Seasonal props in the Pirrelli account of time in the future show that February next year is earmarked for there to be hardly anything worth wearing.
Cards? You want Cards? Sure you do!
Paintings? You want Paintings? Sure you do!
and
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Waiting in the wings of an aircraft hanger full of British Dissident forces loyal to un-democracy, a larger than expected contingent of self proclaimed “Labourious Children of Benn” found their way back from the lost gardens of political oblivion to address the use of history to justify become part of it by citing precedents such as statues of Bomber Harris, and the wholesale destruction of European populations and their dictators During WWII.
Pretending that there is some point to being anything other than completely anarchist about being in government, the free thinking majority of UK MP’s decided to send the entire British Air Force – Three planes and a guide dog – to fly the friendly skies over Syria and bomb enemy oil fields while everyone else on the planet meets in Paris to talk about ending our dependency on fossil fuels.
With walking in Paris made illegal unless accompanied by a Gendarme or a diplomatic passport, those who are acting to change the global attitude that “What’s good for the economic climate has got to be good for the planetary one!” are ignored by governments pressing ahead with putting bombs and war high up the ranking of most global twitter feeds.
Missions to Mars notwithstanding the latest Hollywood blockbuster based on escaping a dying planet only to land on one that looks like a bombed Syrian Cit, have become all the rage. It is estimated that big movie spectacles help displace citizen anxiety about what is happening in the real world, relieving audiences of taking responsibility for the question: “How can we leave the Earth in such appalling condition for the children of the future?”
Poverty, and gun crime take second page space as even Yankee nut-jobs who shoot the be-jezus out of disabled people in Care Centers and pregnant women in Family Planning Units can’t stay on the front pages for long. “Being a psychopath used to be a hell of a lot easier than this!” said one hostage taking nihilist before being shot dead by robo-cop while having the car keys extracted from her cold dead hands. Even police officers shooting innocent people on the basis of their skin colour can’t maintain headline space for long without quickly being shunted down the twitter feeds of major news organizations soon after their crimes and the calls for more gun control have been heard.
Charles Manson, famed for both killing people and inspiring Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys has lamented the end of the good old boy days from his honeymoon cottage somewhere on the edge of the American Penal System. “For me it was more about making friends and influencing people, but nowadays scratching a swastika into your forehead and claiming to be jesus just doesn’t seem to cut it anymore. Look at what’s happened to the Yorkshire Ripper, I mean if people don’t think he’s a crazy fucker, what chance have the rest of us got?”
Having won the commons battle to send planes to bomb Syria so it looks like the UK is doing something to help it’s middle east bombing allies, the UK government is now said to be focusing on creating the 70,000 rebel fighters loyal to the Queen that it desperately needs on the ground so it doesn’t end up in a Blairite “Weapons of Mass Destruction” fiasco before the publication of the Chilcott Enquiry. Chilcott estimates that his dog eared dossier will go to press either before the end of the 21st century, or a 4 degrees Celsius temperature rise in the warming of planet Earth – whichever comes first.
Well, that’s if for another fun packed issue counting the shopping days left before the end of time.
Don’t’ forget about the Exhibition of new works on canvas by MacD (signed and for sale) The Enigma’s Progress at Jam Records, Falmouth
And you can still order copies of The Enigma Deviations – a collection of Politoons best cartoons of the year
Just get in touch with us here at our press facility:
info@thepoetrypoint.com
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In a rush of blood and bones through the casualty department of humanity, the government intends to spend all of its time on Wednesday redefining the word “this” as an act of parliament. “This”, a word formerly used instead of pointing at something, will be amended by English Members to make dropping bombs in far away places easier for limited British military resources. An unofficial language expert explained government intentions to use the “this” crisis to highlight what “this” could mean in future:”As we’re spending so much on aid in foreign countries, it only makes sense that we show off what we can do with “this” to help others understand that they COULD VERY WELL get aid like “this” should they carry on insisting they don’t!”
With the threat of losing their bombing campaign before it gets off the ground, troops loyal to president CamASSADmeron have vowed to heap pressure on their opposite number’s heads, barrel bombing all approaches to front bench headquarters and dropping support for party activists lately discovered to be sadistic zealots. Forcing such resignations may mean there will no longer be anyone left to sit on government benches and vote for changing the face of the nation beyond recognition, say experts paid to think like career minded politicians. This would leave the Prime Minister vulnerable to accusations that he sits alone at his play station while railing against the injustice of having to plead with pacifists to support his air strikes: “Please…? Pretty please…? Pretty please with a knighthood on top…?”
Using precision targeting techniques and getting into bed with other terrorizing governments this government previously wished to bomb in their last failed attempt to win votes to invade and influence the pacifist people of Britain, war footing strategists claim to have suddenly found 70,000 pieces of fabricated cannon fodder already fighting in Syria that need our undying love and air power. The P.M. is to turn to parliament with his hand raised asking to be excused while the rest of the class backs his assertion that the proposed war will be over by Xmas. David Hammeron laid out his case for war in the simplest terms: “For one, as there are no WMD’s to be found this time – apart from the one’s we’ll be dropping – we can assure the nation that Father Christmas Cola will neither remain grounded, nor be forced to deliver gift wrapped world capitalism through Amazin drone strikes while watching pigs fly at the North Pole as so many anti-xmasists opposite claim!”
In a new xmas ad campaign, brand loyalists aim to keep their status updates in the news while Parisian protesters are thrown in jail without their shoes for saying the same thing in public. Dark Zuckerberg, Death Star generalissimo of FaceBake heritage, has overcome his reputation for sucking up information and turning it into advertising gold by investing in climate change as an innovative publicity strategy – meaning everyone thinks more positively about him and the other 84 richest members of our species on the planet. Using the Gates template for salving corporate conscience by attempting to cure world grief by curing a supposedly incurable disease of some kind, or by funding prototype mammalian missions to mars, the world’s richest off shore people intend to buy off world opinion and find a way back to green and pleasant landed gentry in order to return earthlings to the peace and love that inspires so many cat photos to be uploaded to the internet daily – certain proof experts say, of the ever evolving genius behind the myth of human wisdom.
Troubling interpretations of conflict revolution techniques mean that squabbles continue to break out like adolescent acne around the breakfast table in the Kremlin war room. While China attempts to build military wind farms on disputed pacific island territory, parachuting former soviet auto pilots are braving disputed borders in order to smuggle themselves and other supposedly communist-era regimes into Europe through an island of Lesbians. Looking as fresh faced as a burkha shop window display, the German Chancellor Angela Merc-rules posed yesterday in the Turkish photo shoot of EU members applauding dubious human rights records, hurrying along the treaty compromise over the current refugee crisis engulfing British intentions to join in the war game being played out in the Middle East because of what happened in Paris – a town somewhere south of Armorica, the home of former De Gaullist hero, Asterix.
And in other animal news:
Studies into murdered animals claim to have concluded that as it takes far more chicken’s lives to fill the belly of your average human carnivore, we should consider the number of actual chickens that are extinguished everyday just to put meat-style food on our tables when compared with other live animals that become dead for human consumption – such as ‘beef’ cattle. “Take a cow, for instance” said an expert trying to sound ethical, “a whole one would be difficult to digest in one sitting” he said while checking beneath his car for speed bumps.”On the other hand, you can eat chickens by the bucket-load and still have room for pudding!” For some consumers of food, this raises moral questions about the quantity of animals being killed for the purpose of their appetite reduction sensations. The latest studies compare life to size in several ways that hungry people don’t think of very often and which other experts suggest aren’t that important. ” If we can think about the same thing in different ways, in the end we’ll think differently about the same thing over time.” said an expert in how to say meaningless things without looking like an idiot.
“The deaths of certain animals are definitely size related.” Said a praying mantis female to it’s male sexual partner before biting his head off and laying her eggs in his abdomen for the impending larva to eat their way out of. Meanwhile Animal Farms around the country find the new statistics positively Orwellian in their implications. “No one’s even bothered to mention pigs yet” said a troubled porker at the trough. “Pigs always fall through the net, we’re neither small enough like chickens or big enough like cows for anyone to bother with, unless of course they don’t want to eat us at all, in which case we just get used as objects of abuse in religious circles.” Other pigs snorted in agreement, while a family of earthworms claimed to have proof that missing members of their family previously thought to have burrowed away on holiday had actually been drowned by humans before their bodies were then eaten by fish in a nearby river. Several selfies claiming to be of said worms were then produced while an entire school of fish are currently being gutted for their earthly remains by Japanese Whaling experts.
“Humans don’t seem bothered about the idea they might eat each other” said a passing spider busy cocooning a butterfly “Human animals should try to keep things in perspective – my mother killed herself so we’d have something to eat besides each other when we were born – I don’t think you people know which side of the web you’re stuck on sometimes!”
(no dead chickens could make themselves available for comment today.)
check out the new exhibition of MacD’s large works on canvas The Enigma’s Progress currently installed at Jam Records, Falmouth:
“Mac Dunlop’s new series introduces the visitor to an array of dramatically coloured imagery combined with beautiful line drawings and poetry.”
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politoons 