The case of the disappearing deficit!
Home Office Detectives and private dicks have been called in to bid for the latest ‘Profit at a Loss’ contracts being offered by Her Maj’s Minority Report Government. Group Five, ServiCor, even McDonald’s have put forward convenience food proposals that will eat up any deficit in a whopping meat frenzy of political slaughter come the next election in the UK. Playwrights and scientists have been searching for the holy grail of cooked book finances since the Angry Young Man generation of theatrical devices in the early sixties (see the last fiscal millennium) failed to deliver on social policy.
In a scathing report on how to clean fish properly, master economist Jack (Ankles) Russell – head baiter of rods to the queen – has aimed a few hooked barbs at the current generation of fiscal back stabbers littering the floor of the London Stock Exchange (The stocks are used to hold poor people in charitable positions, while rich ones throw tomatoes and used bit-coins at them).
“What we need is a new form of government without having to vote for any of the old ones!” said a disgruntled comedian on UTube in front of thousands of followers who couldn’t be bothered to listen to more than 140 characters at a time without a punchline. Calling leading politicians “Vaginal” in their handshakes and “Face-ist” in their un-elected policies, the born again comedian went even further in an attempt to extract humour from the serioud situation that the world finds itself in.
US Government exports Health Care to First World!
Now that the American high command has lost control of the Senate as well as the Congress, President Nearly Not Obama has pledged to help fight the health war elsewhere in the world because it’s too hard to help sick people in his own country. Having gone the extra mile while the rest of the world struggles with kilometers, American hegemony has increased since calling off the Cuban Missile Crisis and opening talks with Che Guevera’s best mate’s brother.
“It’s all going really well!” said the prez from a golf course in Florida …”Swimmingly!” he replied when pressed… “No I’m not kidding!” he reassured the gathered throng once again, his smile appearing to freeze upon his face… “Can we talk about this later? I’m trying to putt here!”
Politoons Caption Contest Winner Revealed!
In a final which exceeded most if not all expectations (low as they may seem!) the jury has returned a verdict on the 6th Cartoon Caption contest, and having created a short short list ( see below) has decided on the winner being: Sophie’s choice! (More flash fiction than caption perhaps, but if every picture tells a story, then so too does every story…)
“Oh no! We should not have drunk that bottle of ‘Quantum Champagne’! It has sent us into one of the infinite number of possible universes, and this is the one where I get stuck under a giant golf ball and you can’t remember the words of any songs, even though you are at last on stage in front of thousands of people in a short dress and have a microphone!” he gasped.
congrats go to S.H. then, well done, and so too for our four other finalists:
drms1 for example:
“Life is sometimes a “stone’s throw away” from a celebration drink!”
or Carl D’agnostico’s:
“Drinking the booze was easy but this olive weighs a ton”
regular finalist Dominic P sent in this:
“No Jack, it’s advocaat and lemonade! Now I must go and whip the cream for Blunderbore’s pudding.”
and Tim C tried the innuendo twist with:
“WOW, what was in those drinks, my balls are killing me!”
Why look, it’s the cartoon for the next and 7th Politoons Caption contest right here!
(p.s.) thankyou to all who entered, it’s as fun as ever to see the inner workings of other people’s brains.
don’t forget some of our regular Poli-features:
and the wonderfully irregular Politoons Caption Contests!
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