Politoons Issue 9: The World of Humour Needs You!

Posted on May 25, 2013 by md

You may think that introducing pornography into the sex education curriculum is an innuendo too far even for the private-eye-zing Michael Gove. Expect his free school philosophy to start incorporating the free love ethos of yester-year, when Jimmy Savile was considered to represent the pinnacle of charitable virtue.

Meanwhile the government has decided to print more money (QE) in order to give it to banks which – said government says – need to raise an extra £25bn. Printing costs to be paid for by the British taxpayer, whose money is losing value in real terms faster than a Formula One team sponsorship deal.

Facebook was going to launch a phone, a facefone no doubt, but that project has fallen down the back of CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s baggy trousers and needs constant recharging – as does the faltering share options.

Hey Zuckerberg! What’s my percentage?

Money proves that language is no obstacle as Lord McAlpine wins a libel case against Speaker Bercow’s better half for saying he was trending (fnar fnar!) and for the plainly vicious use of the words ‘innocent face’ between two asscheeks – I mean aster-eeks (oh my *!@%? spell check!)

Meanwhile Ian Duncan Smith has thrown his 53 pounds a week behind the call for a snoopers charter, saying he will consider proposals by the independent “So far right we’ve fallen right off the edge!” lobby group.

In a nutcase – sorry I mean shell… – IDS is of the opinion that “cheating no good benefit capped scroungers who are good for nothing except being ground down slowly through low paid work until they all fit into a leaky caravan that we can abandon under a motorway flyover” should be penalized even more if they refuse to snoop on their neighbours… in between looking for voluntary work, obviously…

So that’s it for another blues – I mean news – update, just remember:

so share, optimize, and give this away for free – it’s one way of getting through the day without breaking into tears, song, laughter, or someone’s house.

check out more cartoons here, and get in touch if you want to know more

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cheers for now! MacD

Politoons Issue 8: Sketchy notes from yesterday’s Queen’s Speech bubble…

Posted on May 9, 2013 by md

The queen and her loyal consort had a day out at (the) Lords yesterday, reading aloud the coalition government’s wish list for all things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small – unless they are Bulgarian or Romanian and fall ill while they’re over here legally.

Her Madge was joined by her son, and his consort – in fact there was a lot of consorting going on as Charles and Camilla learned how to read out what someone else has written, and sit there looking interested – respectively.

Meanwhile the meat on the bone of the government’s wish list includes the Secretary for Work and Pensions ideas: Poor people should have a cap so they can doff it when speaking to others who think the poor don’t deserve to have enough to live on – let alone live here – comparing them with those immigrants who are coming over here and stealing all the jobs poor people can’t afford to do because they don’t pay well enough, while the children of more well off people end up working for free in the hope of getting a real job, in order to pay off their student loan at some point in the future.

Failing that, they can spend the day smiling at you from behind the counter in a coffee shop, scrawling your name all over a paper cup to make you feel better about the fact that the shop you are in is owned by a multinational that pays no tax at all on the vast profits it makes from your addiction to caffeine.

Meanwhile in other financial matters, the magic of being able to say the national debt is being lowered while national borrowing is still rising is -miraculously – still working. George invited the IMF round this week to tell them ‘the lady’s not for turning!’ and neither is the good ship Britannia – mostly because we can’t afford the fuel to keep the engine running or the lights on…

George and the Queen have been reading from the same hymn book this week, and David has been practicing in front of the mirror too. “Hard working, aspirational, unable to move their savings offshore, families are who this government wants to help by capping benefits and cutting back on tax credits for working (but not hard enough, obviously) families!”

After their recent Local election success, commentators have accused UKIP of influencing the government’s behaviour, something which is being denied in the circles of power, as are the rumours of a whip round to buy Nigel Farage a peerage in the hope it will stop him being a candidate in future elections (who knew that bringing back smoking in pubs would prove to be so popular?).

Sources close to Downing street have said the Prime Minister is watching his back… and front… and, oh my goodness, what’s that falling from overhead…?

Well that’s it for another short edition of Politoons, apart from the football news of course: Sir Alex retires, and the nation has stopped in its tracks to ponder the significance of someone who has sworn a lot in public for the last 26 years, yet still managed to get a himself a knighthood. Well he did do a lot of charitable work, so lets be charitable… No! Let’s tell him to take that gum out of his mouth this instant, and put it on his nose if he hasn’t enough to share with the rest of the class!