Delivery Drones, Films about Plastic Bricks, Olympian Sex and More Rain!

Amazin’ drones on about privatizing clouds!

Having successfully cornered the market in online corner markets, Jeb “Bdeep-Bdeep-Bdeep” Gazebo, MDMA of Amazon.con has revealed secret talks with the CIA which will take the online retailer to the next level in the hit video game “Spy for your country”.

Amazin – the online website behemoth rivaling Googoo for being visible from virtual space – are recruiting a new team of  air heads to administer ECG shock treatment to first time users still expecting something for free without first having to hand over all their government’s personal data.

Other Drone Updates released!

Holier than though victims of the Obama-nated war on terror in the eyes of the beholder have taken the tragedy of 7-11 and the rise of 24hour news coverage as a sign that there is no smoking without fire in the sprinkler systems of power.  Using trickle down technology that has kept pace with the flight of capital from people’s pockets, military sources say privatization of their industry will keep water in people’s taps, and tree shaped air-fresheners in citizens cars for all eternity – unless world temperatures rise by 2 degrees Celsius.

Lego Film Logo Embargo!

A Lego Man -whose starring role in the new hit film “Brick by Brick 2” now haunts the imagination of many children across the world – was quoted as saying “ I’m no Brad Pitt, but I can attach myself to lots of different bit parts, and stand emotionless in front of cameras for quite some time before needing someone to change the position of my arms or legs”.

Air strikes over flood plane areas continued to ridicule people who live in flood plains, and the environmental experts who are blamed for too much rain by people who claim “I’m no expert, but…” have not been given access to social media to repudiate the un-experts claims. Even government ministers have backtracked through the rising tides of sewage clogging up the toilets in the British houses of parliament, and blamed the latest natural disasters on Yes voters in the forthcoming Scottish Referendum f Doom.

Money changes hands as buskers seek new ways to attract dwindling numbers of street walkers!

Straight Sex Olympics!

The west looked on as Russian demagogs slid down ski slopes made of gay people and handed medals out to others who hid their personal opinions behind a shroud of athleticism and pride in their nation’s desperate desire for media coverage.  In a disputed place with disreputable conditions, impartial national observers were encouraged to cheer on their team members while human rights were flaunted to a degree previously not imagined in the 21^st century.

Party Line Services reintroduced for National Newspapers in UK!

Phone hacking has come under fire in recent years for allowing journalists to listen into people’s privacy settings previously the preserve of government advertising executives.

With several media celebrities being charged with listening in on the conversations of others, national telecoms giant B(U)T has announce the reintroduction of shared communication provision which will make sharing privacy much simpler for regularly ripped off customers.

tune in for our next Cartoon Caption contest coming next week! congratulations again to Tim from Illinois for his winning by-line below!

follow Politoons for more and more and more and more and…

Winner of the 3rd Politoon Caption Contest Announced!

Finally, the Politoons finals have been finalized and the finalists fined down to the final one!

Many oblique references have been mapped in the uncharted territory of humor, with spelling a significant factor in communicating the winning entry to the entire world – whose eyes – peace be upon them – have it!

to refresh your memory, here’s the toon:

and the runners-up in this marathon 3rd caption contest are:

‘I just don’t think he is what he is cracked up to be.’

a cheeky one from Sheena,

‘Its fashion – or am I on crack?’

a between the cheeks from Jo

‘He didn’t even crack a smile.’

a turn the other cheek from Alysa

Butt(!) the winner of the  3rd Politoon caption contest, without hesitation, deviation or constipation is Tim C with his caption:

‘that reminds me, I have to call a plumber.’

So, congrats Tim, we’ll get that special Glicee print with your caption sent out to you ASAP!

And don’t forget about the up and coming Politoons Exhibition “The Enigma Deviations” in March, at Jam Records in Falmouth find out more here

Let us know what you think, or get in touch if you want to find out more about how cartoons can save the world!

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Floods, Super(bowl)bugs, and Off(with his)Head in the news this week!

Illegal Floods flood in to Britain as tides and sandbag costs rise 

Sandbags are seen as the next must have Xmas gift for cash strapped councils according to the orifice of national ballistics, after 5 weeks of rising flood levels in the Somerset Levels stretching from Solstice to Imbolc according to the Pagan calendar. Energy Minster Owen-pretty much everything- Paddington,went to the levels to sea for himself, and was flood-plained by locals who asked why nothing had been done during the last century to stop this sort of thing happening in this century.  Minister Paddington who bears no resemblance to the famous ‘Bear’ of rugged masculinity fame in gay culture, was clear that his climate change denying days were not over simply because the country was flip flopping from one natural disaster to another. In a reply to a soaking wet Sou-Wester, the minister replied  “These arable lands could become the Paddy Fields of Britain if we as a nation would just allow scientists the opportunity to plant saltwater resistant GM Rice in the South West.” He then went on to say “Rather than fighting Mother Nature, this government intends to retreat gracefully from any responsibility it may have previously had to protect people and communities, or to provide compensation when something like this happens.  We’ve only been able to keep this land from flooding for the last 1000 years so its no surprise to anyone that that millennium might now be well and truly over!”  Then the large hairy man projected his image of rugged masculinity back into his canoe and drifted up the creek, having seemingly forgotten his paddle.

The XLV111Stupor Bowl

The biggest game to surround an expensive advert and its attendant 15 minute pop concert took place in New York this past Sunday, selling more Gm contaminated popcorn than you can shake a stick at (and if you’re using that stick for balance, be careful you don’t fall over).  In the finest display of the old adage ‘defense is the best defence’, a team from the west coast of the US proved that legalized marijuana and same sex marriage are no barrier to winning one of the most sought after trophies in one of the most heavily sponsored games in the world that use the words ‘ball’ and ‘foot’.

Educationalists woo Govian Chanteusse as Red Ofsted Head retires to Hampstead

In a display of government thinking unrivaled since the last government paused for thought, Schools were disrupted around the country when the leader of the school measurement movement was scrapped due to redundancy plans intended to make plans redundant.  Mickey Gove told colleagues today to stop coming into his office and bothering him after David “outside” Laws continually accused him of taking the Mickey throughout the school day.  Inside Number ten insiders said the PM became involved after school hours in an extra curricular dressing gown of the entire class of educationalists accused of not doing their homework.  Part-Privatized classes were also in fear of their funding due to further revelations about sexual relations between teachers and boarded up pupils which had dilated even further until there was nothing funny left to say about it, except by uncaring capital-ey enhanced old boys who feared that private schools would be punished for what was once seen as a ‘norm in the dorm’ approach to sexual predation.

3rd Cartoon Caption contest pending

Politoon’s panel of esteemed international judges are currently holed up in a Vatican-like tower block with nothing but a smokestack full of hot air that will blow white or black smoke when they have decided on the  final winner of our 3rd Cartoon Caption Contest!  So stay tuned for the whether (or not you’re the one) report coming out this week.

Goodbye, Toodle Pip and Good Luck!

Sincerely

MacD, editor in patent pending