As the scatalogically challenged lump collides with the swirling air propeller, perhaps it is time to take stock of things that have led to this, our joyous interlude of incomprehension.
Category Archives: mac dunlop cartoons
Politoons Sunday Morning Coffee break
Top Headlines for Sunday December 20th 2015:
Cameron’s Xmas Immigration Wish List!
DJ’s fake rape court case japes!
Another Top Tories Resigns!
(please ignore any advertising below)
lift off for space race outakes remake!
by the bye, buy this book!
do get in touch info@thepoetrypoint.com
and please ignore any ads below
XXX judges decide final Hex factor finalist!
Hex Factor judge Simon Callow stood before a crowd of actors in the fly on the wall documentary of his reality television soap opera and watched them drop their wireless microphones in unison last night. The latest person to sound like all the other persons that have the hex factor nearly cried again ( subject to contract) when famous Judge person Mr. Simon said she reminded him of someone who previously had reminded him of someone before. The final finalist hid her eyes as she tried to think of the worst thing that had ever happened in a failed attempt to cry to camera. Failing that, she went on to wonder who they heck he meant? And no, it wasn’t the Susan woman famous for singing old music hall favorites who combines a unique shortness of breath with a similar stature.
enjoy your politoon moment until the next time.
x factor (ed) Continue reading
Painting with Light -The Enigma’s Progress: new works on canvas by Mac D
Painting with Light -The Enigma’s Progress
An exhibition of new works on canvas by Politoons editor Mac D
on display at Jam Records in Falmouth from November 20th until January 15th 2016
Tuesdays to Saturdays 10:30 am to 5pm
Mac’s visual work is not without controversy as he combines modern digital media with his painting and writing skills. Some consider this style of working to be outside the remit of traditional painting, but experimenting with different techniques is not unusual. There are plenty of examples of using non-painting techniques to make paintings. Consider in the colour paper collages of Henri Matisse, Andy Warhol’s screen print paintings, or even the stencil spray techniques used by contemporary graffiti artists such as Banksy.
Mac Dunlop’s new series introduces the visitor to an array of dramatically coloured imagery combined with poetry on the theme of love.
The artist says:
“Ever since working on my first exhibition of digital imagery “True to Life”
in 2008 – a series of fanciful photo adventures that celebrate the King Harry Ferry, I’ve been wrestling with how to involve digital techniques into my painting.”
“I wanted the clean lines that digital production makes possible. At the same time I wanted to contrast mechanical printing with the more expressive lines that you get in handwriting and sketching freehand. Bringing them together creates a unique tension in the same way that placing a particular colour beside another can create a particular mood or atmosphere.”
Mac features in the newly published collection of 26 Cornish writers “A Space to Write”, an intimate account and photographic study of writers and their writing spaces in Cornwall.
His own collection of drawings and cartoons “The Enigma Deviations” was published last year by The Poetry Point Press.
Mac is a professional member of the National Association of Writers in Education (NAWE) and works with various Cornish Cultural organisations – Hall for Cornwall, Falmouth Art Gallery, The Exchange and Newlyn Art Gallery, Kernow Education and Arts Partnership (KEAP) the Indpendent School of Art and Caravanserai. He founded The Poetry Point in 2008 – a website portal to visual art, poetry and spoken word events in Cornwall and the South West. Mac also works as a radio producer, his radio shows air on Cornwall’s The Source Fm, and on London’s Resonance FM.
for more information or to speak with the artist contact
Mac Dunlop at
info@thepoetrypoint.com
websites:
http://www.thepoetrypoint.com
http://www.politoons.co.uk
Location: Jam Records
32 High Street
Falmouth
Cornwall
TR11 2AD
POLITOONS #15 The hangover from holiday special
NO UKIP campaign to start with itself, leader claims!
UKIP senses that it’s greatest strength is in it’s complete isolation from everything else, and so a decision has been agreed by it’s owner to stand alone aside and say “No to Britain!” The Last Farage spoke on the subject recently realizing he hadn’t had much media coverage since giving up at the last election. “We’re not an island for no reason!” said the UKIPPITTY Leader at the launch of a new range of very short neckties – catering for the growing market in fashion for the double chinned – yesterday. In his first appearance since total defeat at the last election, Mr. F-of -U-KIP told this tissue paper: “These continental ties have to be cut in order for our country to maintain it’s island roots, especially in the face of a rising tide of floods of swarms of plagues of other people trying to get in because they think I must make sense to a lot of people!”
He then symbolically cut his own necktie even shorter, daring David Cameraman and other defeated party leaders to do the same.
PM in Cornish Sewage shocker!
PM Cam and PMT wife Sam were caught up in the waves of emotion overspilling a Cornish beach where recent storm sewers have emptied vast quantities of Newquay effluent into the seaside paradise. Having survived many a shit storm in his time, the nation’s answer to slicked down hair and Elvis impersonators stood proudly on the beach in a wetsuit impregnated with security personnel trying to make enough space for the Cameroons to sit on a towel and eat sand crusted ice cream while talking sagely to each other about the weather: ‘It isn’t the same as last year, but it never is though is it dear? I suppose… but it’s such a shame for families who are too afraid to leave this country and go on holiday somewhere else isn’t it? Mmmm, yes dear… shall we share a pasty now for the cameras? Oh yes! I do so want to keep the local economy afloat – so to speak – at least for the duration of this photo shoot!”
Hospitals to Close Purse String Operating Costs in Emergency Surgery Plans
Amputating the waste that hospitals around the country generate each year has become a focus of attention for the rudely healthy Chancellor of the Exchequer. Closing down the NHS is one option being considered by Whitehall Mandarins who don’t fall ill very often and therefore see no reason why other people can’t follow their example. With nothing much happening over the summer months, the national hell’s service has been wheeled out for private health providers to pillory and attack until the House of Commons re-sits in September, when it will come together over the issue and debate new and innovative ways of making every citizen’s life more uncomfortable and insecure.
Obama watches Ice melt in Alaskan foray to welcome oil platforms drilling near refuge.
Aware that the Russian and United States Empires are only a few miles apart in places, Obamawhammaflimflam flew into the polar region today to rename a mountain with it’s original name. On arrival, the Great Prez promised to do everything he could to show Russia that they weren’t the only Empirical Nation serious about screwing up the fragile arctic habitat as it’s protective shield of ice melts away. Canada for it’s part has also turned it’s attention north, hoping to make an even bigger mess that can be seen from space than the tar sands projects being largely abandoned further south as fossil fuel investment money has been evaporating for sometime in the land of ice and yellow snow.
ISIS dismantle temple without planning permission
With nothing to do in the Caliphate since murdering and displacing everyone they didn’t like the look of, ISIS architects have turned their attention to old fashioned ruins. One town planner said of their recent ruining of ruins, “These Temples may have stood the test of time, but this is the 21st Century after all, and even ruins need updating! I mean these were world heritage sites from before the days of dynamite, and that is so like you know, not very ‘now’ at all!”
The Enigma Deviations, over 100 MacD cartoons for your perusement! Get in touch to order yours.
and
Someone’s hidden the eggs again!
Politoons 2015, issue # 6
E-Votes to follow E-Fags route!
Come election time, voters will dribble out in their tens or so complaining about the weather and how much easier it would be to stay at home and do this sort of thing online, like mostly everything else in their lives. Government officials agree, suggesting that interwoven pleb providers should slash costs for people who must use electricity to fill out confusing ballot forms. Energy providers say they are willing to help people vote, offering discounts to those who use their services if they vote as recommended by energy advisers and use the new fossil fuel loyalty card scheme. Offering air miles, coal fired warmth, and nuclear powered hot water facilities, the big 6 providers are encouraging people to ‘vote for their lives’ in return for fixed rate discounts on their locked-in price rising tariffs.
TV Reviews because there is not enough News!
Big Bother!
Kim Khazakstan has emerged from the Big Brother bubble to show off her new range of close fitting soap dishes. (‘more bath wear than formal wear’ says our fashion editor) Meanwhile stupor model Katie Half Price has also enter the house and attendant fray, saying things that embarrass her former partner, their children and anyone with a modicum of intelligence (although the later are not know to have admitted to watching the new series).
Woulf Mall!
The historic re-enactment of a load of stuff that happened 500 years ago in a medieval shopping centre near Croydon is based on a the fictionalisation of a true story about dying town centres in Tudor England. The ongoing series now in it’s first one is all made up in the best tradition of British costume dramas, and has received rave reviews for being over-intentionally dull. With no artificial light used to illuminate the Mall where the wolves live, Hillary Mantelpiece – scribe to the nation, and patented originator of the idea of historic fiction – has complained herself that the film locations are too dark to write in, and without historically accurate wi-fi, she has thus far been unable to make up the next installment of the series. Hearing of Mantlepiece’s plight, the Queen (currently being played by Helen Mirren) has kindly offered Mantelpiece free entry to all National Trust properties, asking only that a part for her be written into the show should it be retained for a second series.
In other Loyal Royal news:
Prince Charles, married twice and would be king who writes to people all the time in an attempt to influence their decisions, has raised a pair of bushy eyebrows at the thought of mounting the throne. “Oooh Errr!” said the prince privately to his present wife (a gift bride from Dubai, with the honorary title of a Ferry in Cornwall). Once it was explained to the prince that there would be no mounting or Game of Thrones while his mother was still propped up on it, Charlie visibly relaxed before returning to his Cornish Feifdom, where a huge development that will make him richer than he ever needs to be is taking up most of his waiting time while Mater continues to tick off her bucket list. (even Royals have to queue sometimes, it seems! ed.)
7th Politoon Caption Contest Winner!
This month’s questionable non-profit prize goes to Mr. C Insoll, local lad done good by all accounts (if you mean Swiss bank accounts managed by HSBC!) Oh yes, more of them this week!
Bartender: What are you drinking?
Customer: I’ll have another…………”
Bartender: What’s with the paws?
Bartender: What are you drinking?
Customer: I’ll have another…………”
Bartender: What’s with the paws?
Tune in for more February Supplements over the coming days, so follow, feed, and generally spread the jam … I mean word!
The Enigma Deviations – the second volume of MacD cartoons with over 120 selections is out now
Politoons 2015 issue #3/ 16th of January
Manga Carter celebrates 800th anniversary edition!
Manga Carter, the comic book that laid the foundations of democracy in the 13th century is celebrated in a special 800th year edition that brings back all the key characters in the ultimate battle of legislation between rich and poor. King John, the whimsical King who ran up credit faster than a toothache causes pain, finds himself surrounded by robber Barons who want to see a decent return on their investment in his crown. Having lost most of France to the French, the English King must now pay back his lenders or face up to the Papal Bull that snorts in the corner of his power hungry mind. Tune into the final episode narrated by Melvyn Bragg, staring Ray Winston as the psychopathic monarch bent on unifying a nation by handing over full control of the law of the land to aristocrats who want to have a go at doing whatever they want whenever they want for a change!
Will England quake, or have a bake off? Only time will tell what our dark hero’s fate will be as he faces his greatest fear: Having his expenses scrutinized by an independent watchdog! Get Manga Carter! Outed Now, under royal seal and state protected.
Driverless economies to replace chancellors and treasury’s over coming decades!
The success of driver-less trains, planes and automobiles has emboldened the British Chancellor to make an election pledge to taxpayers that would officially make him redundant if a government wins the next election as expected. Plans for May 2015 include many more automatic ticket machines, barriers, check outs/ins for the burgeoning virtual country being touted as ‘e-UK.com’. a non-existent online nation to be sold off in dribs and drabs if a British government comes out on top in the Strictly Politics vote being held by the BBC this spring.
Judges are already practicing their metaphors, odd accents and handy quips in readiness for the peacock like displays expected from celebrity politicians. In an overview of how things are shaping up, the fau-clay company Play Doh has been manufacturing hand held devices to help young people create carefully crafted caricatures of their favourite political couch potatoes.
Expect more mud slinging, blood letting, and goofy photographs of people doing odd things like eating while on the campaign trail. Media moguls expect ski slopes to get their drifts to pile up as party leaders plow on down the slippery run in to the election.
Nostalgia rampant amongst over 50’s, latest studies reveal.
A worrying increase in nostalga-phobia is causing concern in diminishing government circles. Older people who in previous generations used to tell their younger counterparts how lucky they were to live in an age of combustion engines and atomic power, are increasingly being retro-negative about current lifestyles. Where the older generation once went on about rationing and being beaten with corporeal implements as part of their education, nowaday’s vintage citizenry are more likely to be telling the youngsters that they never had it so bad.
New policies by previously backward thinking political parties will make nostalgia-philia into a criminal offence, and are warning nearly previous generations to hold back on the ‘it was better in my day’ advice, or face having their ring fenced pensions un-ringed in future parliaments. A spokesperson for a group that wants to keep nostalgiaphilia legal was unavailable for comment yesterday, so we asked a senior editor to make up a quote on their behalf: “Telling young people about grants for education when they are only used to a world of loans, and being in debt before they leave the nest is an important part of this country’s heritage!” Our token oldie then went on to say “Living wages, employment contracts, social safety nets, freedom of expression and peaceful protest are bread and butter – obviously I mean bread and margarine for those who are vegan, and gluten free bread for… without nuts either, anyway gluten free bread, dairy free butter, right? – these are the issues that people don’t realise went along with making a killing on property values, being greedy about deregulation – let alone always moaning about the government and red tape without having the foggiest as to how you would do things differently. These are the memories that are under threat if we criminalize nostalgia, then no one will know what life was like before the internet let alone reddit, facecrook and twitting and whatsits! For the sake of future generations, we simply cannot stand idly by drinking bolly and waving our walking sticks in the air as if we were stereotypical representations of our parents!”
We all nod and smile patiently until the senior editor says “those who forget history are destined to…eh… whatsit!”
The Enigma Deviations – the second volume of MacD cartoons with over 120 selections is out now
and the 7th Politoon Caption Contest
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lastly, if you missed it, here’s a link to Charlie Inspired Politoons
2014 a year in monthly rear view: The January Headlines
JANUARY
The year 2014 ended much as it ended last time, with the UNHIP party spelling bee being cancelled in a blistering attack on incorrect acronyms.
Back in January 2014 Politoons reported on:
The former UK’s MIGRATION BOTCH foundation who ACCUSED BULGA-ROMANIANS OF a sinister CLIMATE CHANGE PLOT!
Bulgarians and Romanians have decided not to come to Britain until weather conditions improve, as a low or “no” pressure zone has hit the country. UKIP MEP’s have generally sounded positive notes (F#’s and B flats mostly) about the chances of their Lord and Creator Nigel the Great of Basildon becoming the spiritual leader of a non-european Pound Shop trading hub. Exports to and from the hub will be delivered in person by British nationals who might otherwise emigrate to Abu Dabi for the chance to work for peanuts on the building of lego bricked imitations of great world cultural attractions. These include helter-skelter rides in the shape of Winston Churchill designed by Zhahaha Hadeetz, and Olympic size swimming pools filled with alternating layers of oil and desalinated water from Normal Fosterers Architectural Practice-till-we-get-it-right Partnership located in a B and Q shed somewhere near Neasdon.
to read the full report on this, the hate speech of Bile-gel Barrage and more click here
tune in tomorrow for what made up the headlines in February 2014!
meanwhile here’s some regular Poli-features:
free e-cards here’s the latest:
Politoons latest publication “The Enigma Deviations”
and don’t forget to enter the Caption Competition
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e-peep e-greets! :)(:
General Satire:
Seasonal Ones:
or
If you’re interested in sending something bigger better and more book-like, check out info about the latest collection of Politoon toons here: The Enigma Deviations
remember:
Politoons 2014 End of Year Issue(s) :-( (-:
Alien Cows may have populated Mars!
The discovery of Methane Spikes (or ‘burps’, as they are known in the Colostonic sciences) has sent the Mars Rover into a tail spin over exhaustive gas analysis of what may be billion year old cow pats from a bygone Martian age of pastoral bliss. When the Sun was much younger, and could only dream of being a reactionary red topped newspaper with nude photography hidden amongst the news items, Mars may have been inhabited by a race of Cattle similar to the species that is milked for everything it is worth today.
The discovery of bullshit on Mars has confirmed the existence of life for many unwell known scientists. Which puts the landing of a washing machine on a comet billions of miles away in the shade (an unfortunate side effect, as the comet washer needs sunlight in fact to power it’s media spin cycle.)
Pope Steals Queen’s Speech Thunder!
The Pope has spoken about being unhappy with God’s council for the first time since his Road to Damascus moment. Because Syria is so hard to get to now, what with the oppressive regime fighting the oppressive neighbours over who is the best oppressor, the Pontiff has tweeted his irk-dom at Vatican administrators lower down the food chain. The white robed representative of several people’s deity on earth has been quoted as saying “There’s gonna be some changes around here!” and “This is business, you understand?” in his 140 characters or less Xmas message to the papists of the world.
Korean Kim Hacked Off with US Quality Control!
Having hacked into the American sit com “A day in the life at the White House”, North Korean film critics now find their off the wall comments are no longer online. Having trashed the film of their dear leader’s assassination, they now wait in a queue to use a hot desk inside Kim’s bedroom, where the initial cyber-wood attack is suspected to have taken place. The American President, roused from his 2nd term stupor, relayed his thoughts on the film, saying he was charmed by the buddy movie approach to improving relations with Pnom Penn. The Pres was considered to be on script, when he said that seeing people killed in Hollywood is all part of growing up and watching bootleg copies of American films. He then spoke directly to his North Korean peer, saying “Look Kim, Presidents often die in American films – we call them documentaries – BaBoom!;)”
Meanwhile Sony has lapped up all the free publicity and is planning on releasing the hacked film anyway. The corporation is apparently ready to use American Military support if necessary to protect it’s right to collect royalties and make profits anywhere on the planet. (The British Chancellor, GO is rumoured to have been seen taking notes in the garden shed next door)
That’s it for this weeks headliner news, don’t forget, there’s still Free Seasonal E-cards!
-a growing collection for your delectation-
There’s still copies of The Enigma Deviations to procure!
There’s still a Cartoon Caption Contest to enter!
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and finally,
There’s always next year!
Tune in, Drop by, and we’ll be sure to keep you posted.
Happy Nappies, from Politoons
don’t forget, 
Free Politoon e-cards to beat the XXXmas rush!
Here’s selection of free e-cards from Politoons, just fill in the form below, say which one you’ve selected to send, include your heartfelt wishes (be nice!) and we’ll forward your message and e-card to your loved one – or, um… whatever.
If you’re interested in sending something bigger better and more book-like, check out info about the latest collection of Politoon toons here: The Enigma Deviations
Chelsea’s Birthday – a few celebratory toons
Chelsea – Happy Birthday!
sorry for the tardiness in sending you the best of birthday wishes! Politoons is very grateful for your contribution to a free information society.
The Enigma Deviations is out now, leave a comment below for ordering details
Porridge, The Global Economy, Sports News and other Methane Emissions
RECIPES FOR THE SEASON OF MOODY PEERS!
Baroness Jenkins “how to make poverty porridge”
take one baroness
place in front of a microphone
leave for five minutes
add discussion about poor people to taste
Russell Brand’s “how to make mince-your-words meat”
answer questions vaguely in front of a live audience
appear saddened by the level of political debate
joke about chest hair and being well off on social media
tell people not to be so saucy – nor to vote neither!
leave in panel show overnight to stew
David MilliBrand’s “how to escape the UN”
comment on global trends in terrorism and poverty
insist you have no intention of returning to politics
insert homilies about your estranged brother
leave to stand at the next election
IN GLOBAL NEWS!
The World has gone MAD!
It’s official, lunacy has overtaken sanity for the first time in the history of civilization. With governments globally eroding confidence in saving the planet, certain forms of madness have been approved by the UN in order to keep everyone at the table to discuss what to do about
the weather. Climate scientists continue to be blamed for talking about the climate instead of the weather – which surveys show many more people are comfortable with. The new Weather Warming Warning group (WWIII) has been lobbying the international community to fund new measuring systems that will track global weather around the world. This is intended to shift the focusing away from what is happening with the climate, which has been upsetting the kids, worrying the sheep, and causing havoc in the financial markets where stall holders are still recovering from the Age of Stupid – now more commonly known as “Black Friday”.
SPORT!
Premier Inns sponsors Hotel League of Gentlemen
In sporting news, the Premier League of Gentlemen has raised the bar by restricting the height of goalkeepers for the first time in order to make the game more “interesting”. Other proposals such as using an eleven sided ball instead of a round one narrowly missed being selected for trials at the next world cup in sunny Qatar. Detractors have pointed out that the pointy bits of a cornered football could be dangerous, especially when heading in front of goal, “worse than John Terry’s elbows” one millionaire with a funny haircut suggested from his Masserati. Meanwhile experts have argued that the point of the game is to get the ball into the net, and therefore if the point of the ball gets into the net, that’s a result, and this eleven sided goal and the mini-keepers should be allowed.
OIL TSARS BUYS MEDIA TO OFFSET METHANE EMISSIONS
Oil prices continue to tumble despite the fact that oil based products aren’t getting any cheaper, even in Russia, where the Rouble spells t-rouble for the administration. Without a leg to stand on or a shoulder to cry on, the beleagared Tsarista proposes to pull out all the stops and do whatever it takes to set the wheels of industry in motion. Meanwhile, money flows out of the county’s banking system faster than you can say Boris Yeltsin. It is predicted that worse is yet to come for Botox clinics in Moscow. (actually this is pretty serious stuff! you wait for cheaper gas to come along for ages, then a whole convoy of geopolitical issues drive by at once! ed.)
In other Petroleum Leaks
Planners in Alberta, Canada-land have decided to pave over the Tsar Sands projects to create giant Park and Hide facilities for Calgary, where stampedes during rush hour are currently causing chaos in the Tundra, rumored home to the mythical Sasquatch who is reported to live in a wild condo unit managed by a neo-liberal survivalist community. The neo-libbers have isolated themselves from the rest of hu-sanity in the hope of eventually ‘becoming one with the tar’ and thus preserving themselves as examples of an extinct species, just as their dinosaur forebearers once did in the Jurassic Era of Tar Sand Amusement Arcadias. (#update: Our roving reporter Dabbling Brooks has complained to FB CEO Mark Suckerburger that his status updates relating Blood to Oil and Diamonds have disappeared from his investigative timeline.)
BRITISH NEWS FOR BRITISH PAY PER VIEWS!
English Laws for English Flaws!
A Bill has been endorsed by the proxy PM of Eng-land that will allow exclusive voting powers only to Anti-Europe and Anti British -MP’s who want to see English flaws made only by English Lawds. English is a very old language that traces it’s history back through the 20th centuries and beyond, originating in ancient times before the internet, when being a King or Queen really was important (instead of it just being an excuse for being rich and expecting people to shut up when you speak). Grammatical eccentricities and the use of one of the most popular languages in the world since the collapse of the British (n.e. English) Empire is being brought back under the control of the Ministry for English Sentences and Stuff. Deputy Minister Pidge Inn at the MESS has approved a lexicon of typos and syntaxic foibles that are particularly English. These eccentricities have been put before the House of Cards in a motion that may disturb the blow, flow and spit of rappers and poets for enervations to come, resulting in the eventual collapse of the entire House into a heap of estuary english cliche’s – if he plays his cards right.
Don’t forget to order a copy or two of The Enigma Deviations, just get in touch by leaving a comment with us here at Politoons
and there’s that 6th Cartoon Cartoon Caption Contest to worry about and stress over too!
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REMEMBER!
Winner of the 5th Caption Contest!
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This one was a challenge for the dedicated captioneers out there. You could almost smell the wood smoke, as brain cells roasted on an open fire, and cerebral fluid bubbled with consterna-tious express-itude.
here are the shortlisted runners up:
‘GCHQ goes organic’
alluding to the spying fraternity seeking the seal of approval from the Soil Association from D. T.
‘Your goal is to breed all the different dragons available’
a caption inspired by the Role Playing MUD MOO and ROTFL community perhaps? from Johnd
‘In the blink of an eye Willy wakes.’
oh how the wonderful S.B. must have sent brain cells racing around the collider to come up with that!
But after a great many sleepless nano-seconds, the chosen winner of this month’s Politoons Caption contest is
‘Looks like the unemployed figures are getting smaller!’
from the super Mr. Power!
who will be receiving his signed Glicee print of the Cartoon and Caption as soon as we track him down!
Thankyou all for entering, and an honourable mention goes out to the tireless T.C. a previous winner.
Don’t forget that the illuminating collection of cartoons ‘The Enigma Deviations’ is out now too. Check it here
and finally here we are: introducing the 6th Politoon Caption Contest!
just leave your caption in the caption box below, and good luck!
The Enigma Deviations is out in a large print edition! (+ that caption comp BTW!)
It’s out! Shelves of stocking stuffing chuckles in print for the first time!
Wondering what to get for the person who has to get everything? Why not bring a smile to their furrowed brow with ‘The Enigma Deviations’? A compendium of hidden treasures; jokes and drawings that lie waiting beneath the covers like your favourite album – or possibly your favourite person.
The Enigma Deviations encapsulates 120 pages of single panel cartoon humour by Mac D, the man of mystery behind Politoons.
A 21 cm square coffee table book that looks as good off the shelf as it does on the train.
You won’t find The Enigma Deviations listed on Amazon or any other merchandising site. So order a single copy or multiple copies here – we can get them delivered to you within 5 working days from receipt of payment. Or if you can, visit Jam Records, in Falmouth Cornwall where you can pick up a copy straight away!
The Enigma Deviations, £10 plus p+p
(check out a currency converter here )
The Caption Competition
The 5th Cartoon Caption Competition will be announced on Wednesday December 10th, so here’s the toon waiting for your quip! leave your line in the box below!
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Politoonz issooz week ending 27-9-14
PM rises to address imminent AM issues
News of the prime minister having gone somewhere or other to talk about climate change has been declared idle gossip spread by idlers who should be out there working. “Armchair bloggers should get a real job in journalism, then they’d find out what it’s really like to sit around all day waiting for something to happen!” said a sitting MP queuing to be whipped on the government benches.
London’s Gurning!
Squeaky trolleys have been outlawed in parts of London, as the Mayor’s new whist drive to create no go areas for anything with four wheels has taken off in a way that his plans for an airport haven’t. “This is not the time for unfit shopping trolleys and ones with duff wheels to be littering the shiny streets of the nation’s capital – by which I mean the financial district.” Said the wannabe MP from a hair salon chair in Leicester Square yesterday.
Lit Mad World Gets More Literary!
The world of poetry has lauded a new collection inspired by the government focus on the national happiness index. a poet has decided that Happiness that would make the perfect title for their new collection on musings about existence as they watch people queue outside food banks.
His Story is all about Her!
In other literary news, a famous fictional historian has been accused of bigotry for fantasizing about assassinating historical figures. “The past is not a playground for historians, it is a series of dates and facts, like 1066 and all that!” said a histrionic other historian, determined to get his facts right before auditioning for mastermind.
and don’t forget to have a go at the cartoon contest at the bottom of this link!
until we meet again dear bleeder!
Or purchase a famous collection of toons!
Achoo!… I mean Adieu!
x
(please ignore any advertising below)
Budget Plane Disappearing in Paper Boy Cuts Special!
Budget Squeezes Middle-Aged Waistbands
Chancellor boy George unveiled his new tattoo, a heavily overwritten display of prime numbers cascading from a small calculator which when he flexed his bicep grew to the size of a small calculator. Balls of Ire, the shadow of the Chancellor spoke ill of the dead, well Maggie anyway, then tried to encourage young people to vote saying he could feel their pain, having only recently just scraped through his year three piano exam himself. Yes the mouth that launched a thousand blips was drowned beneath a sea of hate figures on the government benches today as they hailed themselves and their ‘we’ll have to make do with him for the time being’ leader. Meanwhile waves of Ukrainian boat people did not flood across Europes unprotected Eastern flank like the charge of the Light brigade thundering in the opposite direction over 100 years ago, “but it was a close run thing” said experts given air time to say such things.
Is it a bird, is it a…what the hell is that?
Missing planes in the Straights of Malay were meanwhile considering the possibility that they were being looked for in the wrong place. So a team comprised of the Gays of Malay were instead sent into space to search for satellites that should have noticed where the flight had gone long before it had stopped going where it was supposed to. Arrival lounges in airports around the world were put on hold in case the plane showed up and everyone aboard had to be told that they could not disembark. “Plane people are the new boat people especially in Australia” said some Village people recently at a premier of ‘Priscilla in the desert –the director’s cut’. It is rumoured that even the original inhabitants of the worlds largest island can’t get rid of the alien creatures that for hundreds of years have overseen their asylum seekers hostels and rampaged like copulating rabbits through their corridors of power.
Paper boys face cuts in Puberty Time
Meanwhile in local news, the newspapers were delivered late again this morning as the usual child labourer has reached puberty and is now deemed fit for work. Having been chucked out of the family home so they can rent out the spare room and pay the bedroom tax. The young ex- paper person is now forced to sleep in the rough until he becomes old enough to go to uni, where he can borrow ridiculous amounts of money and learn how to get out of paying it back.
Don’t forget to check out and into The Enigma Deviations at Jam Records in Falmouth, and stay tuned for the finalists of the 4th POlitoon Caption Contest being announced this week!
Nominate your chuckle button! Only 2 days left in the 3rd cartoon caption contest
It’s…
3rd in a lifetime Cartoon Caption Contest!
just two days left before the winner is announced!
So if you haven’t uv and you would’uv, here’s yer last chance – Good Luck!
(click on the image to enlarge, see how to enter below)
and here’s some of our finalists so far:
Its fashion – or am I on crack?
He didn’t even crack a smile.
Is he a boob with a bad ass, an ass with bad boobs or a bad-ass with no belt?
That reminds me, I have to call a plumber.
And what about your funny bone?
To Enter:
Enter your name, email, and caption for the 3rd contest cartoon in the comment or contact boxes below – show us your funny side!
the winner will receive a signed glicee print of this cartoon complete with their winning caption, so good luck!
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REMEMBER!
and if you want to find out more, or purchase anything, or have a question or comment, do get in touch
thanks for checking out the Third Politoons Cartoon Caption Challenge! cheers, macd
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